DarkArmani.net

A Bouncer named SuckerPunch

People have been asking me what happened in regards to the bouncer entries. First off, I'm fine and escaped with only a fat and cut lip and slightly bloody nose. Certain events occur that make me believe that I am not cynical enough. This is one of those puzzle pieces in our "civilized" society that clearly point to the "Lord of the Flies" message that we are one generation away from barbarism. I have no doubt in my mind that there are many people that want an excuse to dominate others with violence. This is only profound to me in comparison to my naiveté and shock at the events on November 19th.

I went out to Vertigo(sucks!), a normal place for me to go on a Wednesday night. Most of my friends bailed on me, but a fellow capoeirista, Bernardo went with me. He drove us down to the club and parked 2 spots away from the entrance of the bar. It was a normal night except for the fact that Vertigo(sucks!) was really dead. The music was ok, but it was dead. (Warning: really long post.)

At the end of the night, we went upstairs to the bar so Bernardo could close his tab and get his credit card. The bouncers were being the normal dicks screaming about leaving the bar, but they were pretty much wasting their breath because we had to get his credit card. Even though we had a valid excuse I think the bouncer was getting pissed because he was being ignored, even though he never came up to us and asked us why we weren't leaving. If he did that he might find out we had a valid reason for delaying, and then he wouldn?t have justification for being a dickhead. A quality club might have a floorman or manager that would treat us like customers instead of pains in the asses.

Bernardo, after getting his credit card, stalled on more time to hit on the really attractive bartender one last time. I started walking out to the foyer at this time. I think the bouncer said something to him and then Bernardo walked out into the foyer. I was outside already looking back into the foyer when I heard Bernardo tell the bouncer that he was leaving and didn't appreciate being talked to like that (I didn't hear what the bouncer had said to him). Then Bernardo did the only overt act that might piss any of the bouncers off. He grabbed a short stack of the stuff@night magazines, which are free and have nothing to do with the bar, and walked out with them. I remember thinking to myself, wtf, let's get out of here. He stepped out on the sidewalk and then dropped them just to the right of the bar on the sidewalk. I was still looking back in the foyer when I saw the big (250 lbs?) old ornery bouncer come charging out. It didn't happen in slow motion or anything but it took about 3 seconds, in which I was shocked speechless and motionless. The bouncer completely body checked Bernardo (150 lbs soaking wet) in the upper back (Bernardo later told me he almost passed out when he hit the ground because his head snapped back). The next thing I know the bouncer is standing over Bernardo who is covering his head with his arms, elbows up, and the bouncer is wailing away with an open hand trying to slap Bernardo in the face.

After maybe the 2nd or 3rd slap, I was spurred to action by the basic awareness that despite how big the bouncer is, despite what is going to happen to me, despite Bernardo getting blindsided, beating someone on the ground is WRONG (and somehow even after seeing him blindside someone, I instinctivly believed he would not strike me down without reason). I positioned myself between Bernardo, putting one hand above him to help deflect any blows and put one hand on the big bouncer's shoulder to pull his attention to away from Bernardo and to try and stop the beating. The next thing I know is that I'm jumping up from the ground after getting struck in the face by, now I can call him by his rightful name, SuckerPunch. (I think I escaped major bruising by falling away from the hit from capoeira training even though I don't remember perceiving the strike, and he must have hit me with an open palm.) Some might say that I assaulted or battered SuckerPunch by touching him, but my hands were not up defending myself or anything. I didn't want to seem like an aggressor by defending myself. (After replaying the event for the thousandth time I realized that if i had not gotten sucker punched, i.e. dodged or blocked he would have jumped me followed by all of the other bouncers/suckerpunchers. I jumped off the ground, hands by my sides, and told the doorman and the bouncers that Vertigo F***ed up and they were getting sued.

Meanwhile Bernardo ran away and completely lost his head. He started screaming obscenities at all of the bouncers and egging them on. He lost his head because he was so angry about being taken down from behind. The doorman told me to call the police right now if I wanted to sue. All of the bouncers were telling me to leave, so I told them I was on the sidewalk, I was not in their club, and I just got sucker punched by one of their bouncers for no reason. They told me to leave anyway. And then reality hit me when I realized that everyone present worked for the club. The only spectator (I think he was a friend of the doorman) told me the bouncer hit me in self-defense!! At that point I decide I need to get out of there before they decided to attack me because they knew they could get away with it. I also lied to them and told them I didn't know Bernardo. I came out of the club and some kid was on the ground being slugged by their bouncer. You do what you can to get out of a situation of mob mentality testosterone meatheads before the violence boils over. When I got to the end of the block Bernardo ran to me and asked if I was ok at which point I ran before they decided to jump me in some meat-headed excuse for violence.

Remember where the car was parked? Out in front of the bar. We were stranded two blocks away and Bernardo was insane with anger. Screaming down the street at them and throwing stuff. Doing things that were going to get us both arrested. After trying to walk away, Bernardo finally calmed down a bit and got me to stay.

This is about 15 minutes later, but SuckerPunch and his 6'5" young henchman pulled their cars up in front of our spot at Faneuil hall and told us to stay where we were because the police were coming for us. I personally didn?t want to run in the direction they were pushing us in case the police were coming. I didn't do anything wrong, but didn't need to have complications in my life. Since I was on the phone with Rob at the time and I was pretending it was the police ("Yes, could you send a car over to 290 state street, the two guys who jumped us are threatening us..290 state street. Yeah, that's right"). Also, I didn't do anything aggressive so I decided to face them and walk past them. This might be the scariest thing I ever did. Picture this: No witnesses. Rob drives down in 30 minutes and finds my beaten body on the steps by Faneuil hall.

The tall kid started threatening me. "If you run, I'll tackle you to the ground. Please run."

I repeat over and over to them, "if you hold me I'll gladly sue for false imprisonment. Please hold me."

The tall kid is too stupid to realize how serious civil damages for false imprisonment are and tries to grab me when I try to walk around him. I back up and walk towards SuckerPunch. He is older and since he was striking with an open hand probably understands what he can and can't get away with. He directs his constant stream of taunts and threats at me when I approach him. "I'd like another swing at you." Rob heard all of the threats. I walk directly towards him, wetting my pants on the inside, but steel on the outside. (I must say I was amazed at my reactions under stress. It felt like the description in the Gunslinger Series by Stephen King--a cold emotionless fire. This asshole is my enemy; he will see no fear.) He didn't block my path but allowed me to walk past, trying in vain to make me lose my head with taunts and threats.

There is a time to run. It is right after sliding past testosterone-headed violent meatheads before they find a justification, no matter how slight, to beat you. Also, I didn't want them to follow me and get me arrested on trumped up charges that at the least would be a major pain in the ass for the next 24 hours. I sprinted down an alley and around a corner. Slowing to a walk when passing a policeman walking, and then sprinting to an awaiting cab. I directed the cab to at first the North End because I just wanted him to drive, and then I directed him home to Cambridge.

Rob was awake when I got home. We took a picture of the blood on my face and pants from my bloody lips and nose. I hoped Bernardo got away while I distracted the dynamic duo of SuckerPunch and his gay sidekick. I found out the next evening that Bernardo got away safely.

Posted by darkarmani at December 3, 2003 12:57 PM